Sorting is the process of quickly determining if there is enough in common to pursue getting to know someone. This means that the person is lined up enough with your Requirements that you would like to get to know him/her better.
Sorting can occur by reviewing someone's online profile or by having a five-minute conversation. Let's say that you're at a singles party, and you are working the room. You have five-minute conversations with six or seven eligible people there. This means that you are getting enough information to determine if there is enough interest and compatibility for you to choose to spend more time and get to know any of them better.
Sorting is the process of quickly determining if there is enough in common to pursue getting to know someone. Sorting is generally a five-minute conversation!
Seth, in New York City, took his dating "assignments" very seriously; he knew that his life partner would be his "degree." He Scouted by posting his profile on three online matchmaking services. Within twenty-four hours, Seth's mailbox had twenty new
"3
messages. It was time to Son! Seth spent the next two nights up late, reading through each message, and asking himself, "Does this man sound serious about having a long-term relationship, or does he seem like a player?" He replied to the ten men who seemed the most sincere and authentic in their initial introductions.
Speed dating is one structured method of Sorting. I sometimes hold seminars with singles in which we set up a mock session of speed dating to practice a Sorting skill that I call the "Power Introduction." I divide all the singles in half and line each group up on opposite sides of the room. Each person has five minutes to practice the Power Introduction with his/her potential dale. This is enough time to determine if there is enough in common to pursue getting to know the person.
The Power Introduction begins by introducing yourself effectively and authentically. 1 encourage everyone to be honest, friendly, engaging, and self-disclosing. You can learn a lot about people in a very short amount of time by their reaction to you if you are authentic with them! Then I give a two-minute warning, before each person decides if it's a green light (go!), yellow light (maybe; need more info), or red light (pass). I ask all participants to end by giving the other person a compliment, then disengaging gracefully. After this, it's time to move down the line.
Screening is the process of collecting information about whether your requirements would be met with someone.
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